Lost

Lost

August 22, 2015


Sometimes in the still of the night I suddenly feel adrift; plagued with uncertainty; unsure if the wave I've chosen will carry me to my soul's freedom. I feel lost. In desperation, I invoke the winds to breathe me back to life and wonder why it is that those green tenders of control seem to always stand between me and my aspirations - causing me to forget that I direct these sails. So many dreams have perished this way.

When I am honest with myself, I know it is I who constructed this arduous maze for which I find myself lost. Clinging to tales of fear, struggle and suffering that incarcerate me in the clutches of such obliterating storms. And it is during these times, in the desolate darkness of night when shadows hinder visibility and my tears simply add to the blurry plight, that my soul cries out for the path that will lead me to my mecca. I scream my request for assistance into the mystery, to whatever lucent light may be listening. A part of me yearning to abandon ship, while a spark within me won't allow me to succumb. It seems to believe in me much more than I do.

Then as the sun breaks the horizon, I begin feeling a renewed hope. I focus on that little spark within me and thank it for its persistent resilience that always keeps me buoyant when I feel myself sinking in weariness from the quest. And I sail on - feeling my courage and joy returning. I smile and sway with the morning tide, a cool breeze caressing my face, knowing in my heart I am never truly lost - that whatever course I take will ultimately lead me home.