Here's a good example. Several years back, I was suddenly faced with having to change careers. I had overworked my hands to such a degree that it had become challenging (and painful) to merely twist open a jar. Yet, rather than nailing down which direction I should go, I over-analyzed my options, scutinizing the pro and cons of each, until I was like a car that's run out of gas on the highway - I was frozen in my tracks (often referred to as analysis paralysis). My concern over making a poor choice, had me reluctant to make any choice at all.
The decision we make at a crossroads, is like taking a leap of faith, without knowing where we will land. Rather than contemplating endlessly over the best course of action, or worrying about making the wrong choice, we simply need to make 'a' choice and let the chips fall where they may. I know, I know, easier said than done, but isn't everything? Luckily, if we find ourselves at a crossroads and we're pondering how to proceed, there are three key questions we can ask ourselves that will help us gain some perspective.
- What truly matters?
Always remember, when we are afraid, stressed out, overwhelmed or feeling pressured, we are more apt to sacrifice our values for the sake of survival. When we become clear about what is most important in our life, all the things we've perhaps blown out of proportion while in a state of urgency, will shrink to a more realistic and manageable size. We're able to breathe again, gain clarity and allow some of that tension to roll right off our shoulders. It's always easier to make tough choices when we're calm and have our priorities straight. - Are we resistant to stepping outside our comfort zone?
Life is about expansion. That often requires us to get uncomfortable periodically and go where we have never gone before. During such times, we may be tempted to choose what appears to be the easiest, most familiar and least complicated route. Yet, it is usually the more challenging, daunting and intimidating roads, that shove us beyond the predictable and ordinary, and offer us the grandest growth opportunities. Then the question simply becomes, do we wish to grow, or merely settle for the mundane? There is no wrong answer of course, just facts - stretching ourselves can be extremely rewarding, enhancing confidence, fulfillment and happiness. This is because we were never meant to remain stagnant. Joy is found in the journey itself. - What is our gut telling us?
Our gut instinct is the instantaneous thought or feeling we have before our brain jumps into the mix. In other words, it is our first, initial response to every circumstance we encounter. There is always much to consider when we're standing at a crossroads, yet we can rack our brain for days and still end up feeling bewildered and indecisive. However, if we pay close attention, our gut is always giving us clues. Does the prospect of moving in one particular direction make us instantly excited? If so, rather than jumping on the 'easy, safe and familiar' train, why not follow that excitement and see where it leads?
When weighting our options, it's best to narrow them down until we have our top two preferences. Once that's accomplished, there's a little trick I like using whenever I can't make up my mind about something. Grab a quarter, and before flipping it high into the air, state out loud which option is heads, and which is tails. Then take a few deep breathes and flip the coin. While it's in the air, we are typically hoping for a particular outcome. That is our answer (regardless which way the coin lands). During those few miniscule seconds, when our primal instincts kick in, our internal compass points us in the right direction.