What other people think of you is none of your business!~Paulo Coelho
Are the things that other people say about us really none of our business? This popular quote by Paulo Coelho suggests it isn't. But this got me to thinking. With all the vicious things people say, to and about each other, does standing in our power mean we will never be affected by such cruelty? I mean, I suppose we could just mosey on our merry ol' way unscathed, right?
So why don't we? Why is it that, more often than not, these unkind remarks get in, rip at us and sting like hell? Is it because of who's saying them, or is there more to it than that?
As much as we'd like to believe that it's completely natural to feel hurt by harsh comments, is it natural? Or is there a deeper message in the burn?
What if the only reason we feel hurt, is because on some level, we actually believe what is being said about us? To use an extreme example, let's say you are in the best shape of your life. You work out regularly and look amazing. Then someone comes up to you and says,
OMG, you're so fat!You'd probably think they're delusional, just kidding or being sarcastic, right? And you'd probably laugh it off. Unless... on some level, you actually believed it.
The more we work through our insecurities and accept, love and know ourselves, the less likely it is that we will be affected by what others say about us. Mainly because we're no longer seeking validation externally. We know who we are. We're at peace with who that is. Perhaps this is what Paulo was referring to.
So yes indeed, sometimes what others say about us is none of our business. But if what they say impacts us deeply, then there is probably a part of us that needs a bit more self-love and acceptance.
Maybe the next time someone says something that pierces our heart, we'll take a closer look before reacting, and notice if it's just one of those pesky instigators, attempting to nudge us a wee bit further into your power.