The Layers Of Us

So often we imagine that this journey called life that we're all on is designed of levels, and like climbing a ladder, we must continuously reach a higher level of awareness, evolution or success. This can have us looking at each other and believing it's possible for someone to be more advanced than another, which only leaves us feeling inferior or superior, while we compare and compete.

No one is on a higher or lower level than anyone. It would be more accurate in my opinion, to say that we are on a quest into ourselves; a journey of layers, not levels. Although it is true that some people have not yet chosen to dive into these chasms, and perhaps never will, it doesn't mean the treasures aren't there awaiting discovery.

As I now stand here staring at yet another locked door within my own self, scrambling to find the befitting key, it brings to light the intricate weaving of these infinite layers of ourselves and the feelings, frustrations, and self-sabotage that can arise during the peeling back process.

As so many of you know - those who have peeled and unlocked and opened - there is more, always more, and the really deep, painful, 'I don't ever wanna look at this' stuff? Well, we hid all that long ago, like a master magician's sleight of hand. When it's time for these, seemingly insurmountable layers to be stripped away, we know it. We know because we begin asking ourselves questions like:

• What is this thing that lives just below the surface; just out of reach; just out of view, that has me feeling anxious and keeps me from being 100% me?


• What is this thing that is so vast that I would rather sabotage my goals and happiness, than unveil it?


• What is this thing that has me doubting myself and believing I am incompetent?


• What is this thing that I would rather avoid, slap a smile on my face, and go on pretending all is well?


• What is this thing that I would rather cope-and-carry, rather than reveal-and-release?


• What is this thing that abides just out of sight, that I know in my heart of hearts would change everything, if only I could find the courage to look it squarely in the eyes?

Sometimes when we anticipate that whatever is rising up within us is gonna be a real doozy, we'll reach for our vices - we'll eat to sooth, get altered to numb, stay super busy or feel tired all the time. Spelled another way - AVOIDANCE.

What are we so afraid of? Change? Lack of control? The unknown? Falling apart? Vulnerability? What everyone else will think of us? What would happen if we just said, fuck it, and let go?

Let's dive into the depths so we can drop the heavy load we're carrying, and laugh, cry, and scream our way back to the truth of who we are.