Self-entitlement is when someone sees themselves as deserving of unmerited privileges, as if life owes them something. This is learned early in life - a child is made the center of their parents' world and/or the child observes this same trait in a parent. An example might be that one parent (caregiver) earns the paycheck while the other (entitled) obsessively spends it. This leads to a child who's maturity doesn't coincide with their development of empathy, leaving them frozen in the self-absorbed teenage phase.
Here are some common traits of those with a strong sense of entitlement:
- Uncompromising attitude - a lack of concern for others' needs coupled with an expectation that you should be way more interested in their activities than they are in yours.
- Narcissism often lives at the core of entitlement; an over-inflated sense of self-importance, lack of compromise, and a view that you're either competition (threatening their success) or irrelevant.
- What's yours is mine and what's mine is mine - the double standard. You can do a favor for them, but it's rarely returned unless they believe it'll serve them in some way. Otherwise there's always an excuse as to why they can't reciprocate. If forced, they make sure everyone is aware of their grand gesture. This leads to lopsided relationships.
- Lack of social etiquette and common courtesy - doing their equal share, for example, or stepping aside so you can go first.
- Never learned to share, in fact often seems oblivious to such concepts as give-and-take, empathy, appreciation and humility.
- Takers - "Why spend mine, when I can spend yours?"
- Can be extremely lazy.
- When angry it can be worse than a three-year-olds' tantrum or it can simmer beneath the surface - cutting glances, rolling eyes, cynical thoughts and sarcasm.
- When aggression doesn't work, they'll try the 'poor me' approach, which is a twist of attention seeking, self-pity and manipulation.
- In their mind, societal rules don't apply to them, until they feel they are being short-changed.
- Misinterpret feelings as facts.
- Project blame onto others for their own mishaps.
- Need for validation.
- Just like bullies, so deeply plagued with insecurities, superiority becomes their ruse in an attempt to rectify their inner emotional suffering.
These socially damaging traits can cause conflicts out in the world, and with those closest to them. Eventually this sense of entitlement hurts them because people, for reasons of self-perseverance, begin distancing themselves. Depression can occur when the delusional wall of self-entitlement starts tumbling down.
If you've met someone with an 'IB4U' mentality, make sure to set firm boundaries - energetically, time-wise and in your giving to them, or you could wind up feeling thoroughly drained or depleted.
Always be mindful of your energy and who you share it with.