Sometimes I wonder if it will always lurk within me. Hiding in the shadows. Waiting like a jack-in-the-box's final turn of the crank - popping up when I least expect it. Sometimes it'll swoop in fast and just take over and be an absolute bitch to maneuver through. I notice it mostly when I'm doing something new or unfamiliar; something I haven't yet mastered. And if I don't watch out, it'll have me spiraling out of control with internal dialogue that is crueler than a heartless enemy.
Anxiety.
It's been present for as long as I can remember. I look back on my life and understand why it arrived, however today, logic and intellectual prudence have no impact in persuading its departure.
I remember relieving the tension as a child by being impulsive, impetuous and in an attempt to gain self-control, sometimes down-right bossy. As a teenager I was wild, rebellious and tried my best to sedate my distress in anyway possible.
As I find myself yet again, in the throes of learning new systems and procedures, in a job that is simply a means to an end while I study web design, anxiety has likewise reared its impractical head a time or two. I've noticed it has absolutely no patience and expects excellence right out the gate.
Here are a few things I do to nip anxiety in the bud before it insatiably beelines into a full-blown panic attack:
Take magnesium and meditate daily.
Put a drop of "Emotional Ally" by Wishgarden under my tongue, when I start feeling anxious.
Slow my breathing and remind myself that my best is good enough.
I know so many people who suffer with anxiety on a daily basis. By creating dialogs and sharing our insights, we help each other with this tension that seems to be running rampant throughout our society today.