There are times when we can become so consumed with our own needs and opinions, that we don't consider the energetic impact. We see ourselves as a good person, a supportive friend, a caring partner, and all that may be true. But how do people feel after they've been around us? Do they feel seen, uplifted and energized? Or do they feel ignored, drained and exhausted?
That's the real gauge. Because although people may not be able to put their finger on it, or verbalize it outright, they do feel it. Ever notice when some people walk into a room, the energy elevates? Conversations flow easier. People laugh a lot more. Then there are others, where something quietly deflates the moment they arrive.
I'm pretty sure, we've all played both sides of this scenerio. We've been both the drag and the life of the party at various points in our lives. But who are we most often? Not who we intend to be, or who we think we are at our best. Not even who we are when we're going through a particular challenge and need a little help or support. But rather, who are we typically, in the ordinary moments?
Being a fountain or a drain is not something we're born with, it's a choice we make. We can choose consideration over complaint. Presence over distraction. Generosity over keeping score. It's up to us, and it all begins with awareness.
Before we can be more like a fountain, we have to be honest about when and how, we've been a drain. When looking back on our last few conversations, did we truly listen, or did we wait to talk? Did we add something, or did we offload? Did we leave the other person with more clarity, encouragement and energy, or did we take something from them? Just notice.
Then before entering a room, a conversation or a simple quick exchange, ask,
What am I bringing to this?Not what we need from it. What we're bringing. That tiny mental shift from receiver to contributor, changes everything about how we show up.
From there, it's simply the small things. Like not scrolling when someone is talking to us. Asking a question and actually listening to the answer. It's choosing not to complain about something a hundred times, when it changes nothing. It's being 100% present and engaged while communicating with others, whether it's a customer service rep, a friend seeking advice or the cashier tallying our groceries.
None of this is complicated, it's merely a choice. The shift to being more like an overflowing fountain that refreshes everything around it, isn't one big dramatic change. It's a series of small, conscious decisions that slowly become our natural way of being.
A water fountain can only flow if it’s connected to a water source. What is our source? This is a very important question! Because just as a drop of water ripples outward, the impact of our energy extends far beyond ourselves. People will feel it. The room we walk into will feel it.
What do we want that feeling to be?